Crash Into Me
by ChasingCars4ever
Summary: Kind of MerDer. Hints of episode: 'crash into me,' hence the title. Meredith and Derek break up, Derek's an ass. Meredith's sad. First story in my tragedy series. Kind of tissue warning, not really though. Please Read and Review NO FLAMES one-shot


**This is the first in my tragedy stories. So yeah... It might not be so tragic; I guess it depends on how you view things. I feel badly for the character Meredith because I think in my tragic series she going to go through a lot of pain and sadness. And in this one she might even-! Who knows? Read to find out!**

Meredith's Point of View

I tiredly ran through the halls of the hospital. I was trying to catch up with my fellow workers to get ready for the soon to come trauma. Everything had been a blur since that day. Everything had gone wrong. My life... has become utterly painful.

Ever since that day.

_FLASHBACK_

"Derek?"

"What?!"

"Derek... Did you kiss someone?"

"I... Dammit Meredith. I did, okay? Leave me the hell alone about it! I'm not in the mood," growled Derek.

"Derek! I... I just wanted to tell you that-"

"NO! Meredith, I don't want to do this. Not anymore, and frankly I never did. I don't... I don't think we're good together. We always just mess things up. There's no point," hissed Derek.

"W-What are you talking about?" Meredith asked.

"This thing. 'Us.' We don't work. Not anymore, and I just don't want to deal with it anymore," said Derek almost sadly.

"Derek... Are you ending us?" whispered Meredith.

"We ended a long time ago. I'm just confirming it," sighed Derek, running a hand through his hair.

"O-Okay..." stuttered Meredith, still shocked from the sudden break up.

"Go," ordered Derek, turning away from Meredith with a sigh. "And don't come back."

"Alright," whimpered Meredith, staggering out of the room.

_END FLASHBACK_

Meredith's Point of View

Everything had been bad since that day. My heart had hurt when he had told me to leave. And to never come back. I wasn't sure what had caused it. Had I done something wrong? Had I not been there for him? Was I a bad girlfriend or something? What... I... I must have done something bad for him to dump me like that. It must be my fault. It must be... because I was distant. And not trusting. I must not have been there for him. I didn't want to go as fast as he wanted to go. I didn't want marriage yet. And then... Then he dumped me.

I saw him so many times with that scrub nurse. Rose. They were chatting up a storm with each other when I was in eye sight of them. And every time I saw them like that I hurt. My heart felt like it was being squeezed out of me every time I saw them or thought of them. Tears would spring into my eyes when I did. And it would become so hard to breathe.

And sometimes. Sometimes I just wanted to stop. I wanted to stop breathing, and living. And going through my life every day. Never ending. I just wish that I could stop existing sometimes. So I wouldn't feel the pain that I always experienced when watching _them. _I just wanted to stop.

I tried again. Talking to him, that is. I tried to see if he was alright. And I wanted to tell him that I was sorry for not being there when he needed me. I wanted to tell him so much.

_FLASHBACK_

"Dr. Shepard?" asked Meredith tentatively.

"What Grey?" demanded Derek.

"Derek... Are you alright?"

"I'm fine!" hissed Derek.

"Derek, I'm sorry," whispered Meredith.

"I'm sorry too! God. I'm sorry we were ever together. I'm sorry you caused me so much damned pain. You know, at some point of my life I think I loved you so much that I would have died for you. Do you know how much heartache you put me through with that drowning incident and the bomb? Dammit Meredith!" yelled Derek.

"Derek! Please! I... I-"

"See? Even now! You can't say three simple words. I. love. you. How simple could that be? Little kids can say it! But you'll never be able to say 'I love you,' because you never trust anyone. And there is no love without trust. And since you have your crazy mommy-daddy issues you'll never be able to trust, therefore you'll never be able to truly love. Rose... Rose makes me feel like I'm loved. Yes, she may have some flaws, but I think what we have is true understanding of each other. You and I... The only thing we shared was sex. So just leave me the hell alone, alright? I'm happy with Rose!" spouted Derek.

"Derek... I-I'd die for you," murmured Meredith. Tears were spilling down her cheeks, and her eyes blurring.

"No you wouldn't! You'd run behind me so I could take the bullet. So don't even tell me that you'd die for me! You'd die for yourself, but never for anyone else! Meredith! Just. Leave me alone," ordered Derek, turning from Meredith.

"Derek, I-" was all Meredith was able to get out before the hand that she once loved connected with her porcelain cheek and there was a loud crack. Meredith's face snapped towards the side, and a stinging sensation covered her left cheek. Meredith lifted a hand up to her face on instinct, and memories of when her father slapped her in front of her co-workers came flooding back to her. Derek had just slapped her on the face.

"You see? I hate you! I hate you! You're not needed! You're not important! No one needs you! You're just a nothing! A nobody! Just leave me alone!" growled Derek.

"Derek... I... I can't... I can't believe it..." whimpered Meredith, tears cascading down her cheeks at a rapid pace. Waterfalls flowed from her eyes like the Niagara Falls.

"Leave! NOW!" ordered Derek loudly. Meredith walked out of the room in pure shock and disbelief.

_END FLASHBACK_

Meredith's Point of View

And Derek slapped me. Hard. I never thought that the one that I cared so deeply about would raise a hand of anger to me. I didn't think that he would actually hit me. I didn't think...

I hurried my pace toward the trauma ward. I had told Derek I would die for him. And I would, if the time came.

Everyone was waiting for the trauma case when I arrived. Everyone was prepared for what was to come. I could see Derek up front, readying for this big case. His soft black hair was amazingly beautiful.

I had come in on the opposite side, so I was facing Derek. His back was turned to me, and he was talking to interns who seemed very nervous. I could see Cristina and Izzie there. And George and Alex. They all had there plastic gloves on and were talking quickly to each other. No one noticed me. And I just stood there, unnoticed.

I felt like I was looking in on happy family that I could never be a part of. It made me sad to think that I could never be with them like I would want to. I remembered a time when my father (when he was still there) and I had gone to pick a Christmas tree. We had found a good enough tree, and I had run ahead in the snow. I had come to this little home where a window was brightly decorated with Christmas lights. The corners of the window fogged, but you could still see the happy image of a family eating a roasted turkey and laughing. At the point I felt like I was looking in on something I could never be a part of. I knew at that time my family was barely holding on, and sure enough, the next year my father left. For good.

I saw the ambulance come, and park itself neatly in front of the waiting crowd. Then I saw Derek walk forward and help the paramedics open the door. Derek was busily talking to the men and everyone was watching intently on the scene.

Everyone was so focused on the thing before them that they didn't see it. At first, I didn't either. And then it caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. There was a second ambulance coming. But it didn't seem right. It was going at a much too fast pace then it should have been going. And it almost fell over on its side when it tried to make a turn. The driving of the machine was much too ragged then it should have been. Everything about it seemed wrong.

"Uh, you guys," I called. There was no response. None of them even looked up at me. "You guys!" I tried calling a little louder. Izzie glanced up at me for a moment, and then returned her gaze back to the bickering group.

"Derek!" I yelled loudly. He glared at me when he looked up. The eyes her gave me were ones of hate and disgust. I panicked. The strange ambulance was coming closer. The paramedics got off the ambulance, and took the patient out with them. They gave Derek a chart, and pushed the injured man with them to the doors. Interns were running every where. I could see my friends try to talk with the paramedics.

And that left Derek. He was reading the chart given to him by the men. He was reading it so intently I guess that he didn't look up when I called his name a third time. He was still standing in front of the open doors of the ambulance. His back was turned to me.

The ambulance that was running wild was very close now. And it was aimed for Derek.

"MOVE!" I screamed at the Derek. I ran as fast as I could over to him, panic filled my heart. I had to reach him in time. He looked up once, annoyance written on his face. I pushed him as fast and as hard as I could, replacing where he was. He stumbled a few yards from where he stood and glared at me.

And that was the last I saw.

Derek's Point of View

I heard her. I heard her plenty of times. God she was getting annoying. She kept trying to get my attention. But I was busy! I was reading a very important patient's chart. Couldn't she just leave me alone for a moment? It was giving me a headache.

"MOVE!" she screamed. I looked up. What the hell was she talking about? Another crazy antic to get me to fall in love with her? I mean, what? She came running at me with lightening speed. Geez, I didn't know she could run that fast. Her small frame zoomed at me. Hey wait a sec, what was she going to do? Was she going to run into-!

I fell back. I looked up at her fragile body waver in the place I had been moments before she pushed me. I looked into her eyes with disgust. The electric green that had sparked life in me before just pissed me off now. Didn't she know it was a violation to be violent? Then again I had slapped her before... but... then we were even! Yeah! Why had she pushed me back there? She must be crazy! I was about to call nasty things at her when I then realized the reason why she pushed me out of the way. But it was too late.

Her small figure crashed into the other ambulance, and the crazed ambulance smashed into the that ambulance. I couldn't see her there. My heart pounded in my ears. My... god... She had just... saved me... The ambulance she had crashed into was now making summer-salts in the air, and continuously bounced and crashed to the hard concrete. The crazed ambulance had turned over a few times, and had come to a stop already, upside down. Finally the first ambulance stopped moving. It was on its side after doing the total of six twirls in the air and it looked pretty damaged.

I rushed over in panic. The dents in the metal of the machine didn't make me feel any better. I climbed onto the side of the ambulance, and then I saw her.

Her face had a cut on it and blood was pouring out of it like crazy. I could only see her upper body. Her arm had a big gash on it, and more blood was coming out of her body. Her cheek was bruised. The one I had slapped. There was a deep looking wound on the side of her forehead, very close to the temple. Trickles of blood came from that wound. Various scrapes and cuts covered Meredith's fragile body.

"Meredith!" I called loudly. "Meredith! Can you hear me?" She didn't respond. Her eyes were closed.

And then I did a thing of instinct. I climbed the best I could into the ambulance, and tried pulling her out. "Meredith... Meredith don't die on me... I'm sorry," I kept murmuring to myself. I enveloped her limp body with my arms, and pulled hard. She came out easily, her lower body not as badly damaged as her upper. I pulled her into my arms, and dragged her out of the damaged ambulance.

"Meredith, Meredith come on. Wake up!" I begged. I felt for a pulse, and I thought I felt a weak one. "Meredith!" I yelled, pulling her head to my chest. "Please, wake up!"

"De..." trembled Meredith. Her eyes opening in slits.

"Meredith! Thank God! Please, don't-!" but Meredith cut him off.

"Derek... I... I told you... that I... would die for you..." murmured Meredith, starting to close her eyes again, a frail but sad smile crossing her lips.

"Meredith, no! Please don't die! Hang on! Please! I love you!" begged Derek. He held her small body to his chest, panic coursing through his veins. "Can I get help over here?!" he called to no one in particular. Where was everyone?

"Derek... I just want to stop... please, don't get help yet... I just want to stop... hurting..." whispered Meredith, her eyes almost closed.

"NO! MEREDITH!" yelled Derek. "Please don't... please don't-!"

"I love you," choked Meredith, her eyes finally closing.

"No, no Meredith. Please, I love you too! Please don't die! Please!" pleaded Derek hopelessly. He felt for a pulse one more time and felt nothing. "Meredith!"

* * *

Yeah, so I tried making it dramatic. Did you guys like it? So Meredith died, I guess. I'm not completely sure. But I'm saying that there is a 75 chance she did die. Ooo-scary. Not really. Okay. So yes, I did intend on making Derek's character an ass towards Meredith. It just seemed like would add to the drama and tragedy of the situation when he saw her sacrifice herself for him. Ahh, the power of love. Great, huh?As I said at the beginning of this chapter, this is the first in the series that I'm going to write about tragedies of Meredith and Derek. And Meredith is probably going to take a lot of the burden in the stories. So if you liked this, please read more of my stories! Yay!

AND NO FLAMES! Thank you!

--CC4ever


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